she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We are two peas in an std pod
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Randomize
