Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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