did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
