So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He is an equal opportunity slut.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
