Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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