Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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