i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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