I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
