And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
