in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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