My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
