if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
