hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Randomize
