come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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