Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
