Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
