wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
