There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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