Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
