i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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