I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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