so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
