i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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