I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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