Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
