No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
