I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Do you remember whose house we're in?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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