I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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