the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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