I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Of course I have a pirate flag
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize