I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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