Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
