you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize