I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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