some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize