i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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