I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
