Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
