i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
