'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
