yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
