do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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