when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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