I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
