Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
