just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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