I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
