I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
