He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
