my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize