so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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