That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
