Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
