One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
