Whod you bang
Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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