Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Randomize
