Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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