I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
