You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
