high people should be assigned attendants
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
