some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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