Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
