that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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