We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
