I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
