I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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