i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
