Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
