awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
