Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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