He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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