guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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