farters have to be the big spoon...
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
