porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
