Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
