Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
