Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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