so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Come share oat with me in your robe
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
