I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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