they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
