idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
