I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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