HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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